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If I may be permitted a slight digression ...an analyst of my acquaintance does all the talking -- patients listen patiently or not.... He reminiscences ...tells dirty jokes (old ones) achieves counterpoints of idiocy undreamed of by The County Clerk. He is illustrating at some length that nothing can ever be accomplished on the verbal level.... He arrived at this method through observing that The Listener -- The Ana- lyst -- was not reading the mind of the patient.... The patient -- The Talker -- was reading his mind.... That is the patient has ESP awareness of the analyst's dreams and schemes whereas the analyst contacts the patient strictly from front brain.... Many agents use this ap- proach -- they are notoriously long-winded bores and bad listeners.... "Gentlemen I will slop a pearl: You can find out more about someone by talking than by listening." Pigs rush up and the Prof. pours buckets of pearls into a trough.... "I am not worthy to eat his feet," says the fattest hog of them all. "Clay anyhoo." A.J.'S ANNUAL PARTY A.J. turns to the guests. "Cunts, pricks, fence strad- dlers, tonight I give you -- that international-known im- pressario of blue movies and short-wave TV, the one, the only, The Great Slashtubitch!" He points to a red velvet curtain sixty feet high. Lightning rends the curtain from top to bottom. The Great Slashtubitch stands revealed. His face is immense, immobile like a Chimu funeral urn. He wears full eve- ning dress, blue cape and blue monocle. Huge grey eyes with tiny black pupils that seem to spit needles. (Only the Coordinate Factualist can meet his gaze. ) When he is angered the charge of it will blow his monocle across the room. Many an ill-starred actor has felt the icy blast of Slashtubitch's displeasure: "Get out of my studio, you cheap four-flushing ham! Did you think to pass a counterfeit orgasm on me! THE GREAT SLASHTU- BITCH! I could tell if you come by regard the beeg toe. Idiot! Mindless scum!! Insolent baggage!!! Go ped- dle thy ass and know that it takes sincerity and art, and devotion, to work for Slashtubitch. Not shoddy trickery, dubbed gasps, rubber turds and vials of milk concealed in the ear and shots of Yohimbine sneaked in the wings." ( Yohimbine, derived from the bark of a tree growing in Central Africa, is the safest and most effi- cient aphrodisiac. It operates by dilating the blood vessels on the surface of the skin, particularly in the genital area. |
