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Lee stands in the doorway. The County Clerk goes on talk- ing without looking up. "I run into Ted Spigot the other day... a good old boy, too. Not a finer man in the Zone than Ted Spigot. ...Now it was a Friday I happen to remember because the Old Lady was down with the menstrual cramps and I went to Doc Parker's drugstore on Dalton Street, just opposite Ma Green's Ethical Massage Parlor, where Jed's old livery stable used to be.... Now, Jed, I'll remember his second name directly, had a cast in the left eye and his wife came from some place out East, Algiers I believe it was, and after Jed died she married up again, and she married one of the Hoot boys, Clem Hoot if my memory serves, a good old boy too, now Hoot was around fifty-four fifty-five year old at the time.... So I says to Doc Parker: 'My old lady is down bad with the menstrual cramps. Sell me two ounces of paregoric.' "So Doc says, 'Well, Arch, you gotta sign the book. Name, address and date of purchase. It's the law.' "So I asked Doc what the day was, and he said, 'Fri- day the 13th.' "So I said, ' I guess I already had mine.' "'Well,' Doc says, 'there was a feller in here this morning. City feller. Dressed kinda flashy. So he's got him a RX for a mason jar of morphine.... Kinda funny looking prescription writ out on toilet paper.... And I told him straight out: "Mister, I suspect you to be a dope Bend." ' "'"I got the ingrowing toe nails, Pop. I'm in agony."' he says. "'"Well," I says, "I gotta be careful. But so long as you got a legitimate condition and an RX from a certi- Bed bona feedy M.D., I'm honored to serve you." ' "'"That croaker's really certified," he say.... Well, I guess one hand didn't know what the other was doing when I give him a jar of Saniflush by error.... So I reckon he's had his too.' "'Just the thing to clean a man's blood.' "'You know, that very thing occurred to me. Should be a sight better than sulphur and molasses.... Now, Arch, don't think I'm nosey; but a man don't have no secrets from God and his druggist I always say.... Is you still humping the Old Gray Mare?' " 'Why, Doc Parker... I'll have you know I'm a family man and an Elder in the First Denominational Non-sextarian Church and I ain't had a piecea hoss ass since we was kids together.' "'Them was the days, Arch. Remember the time I got the goose grease mixed up with the mustard? Al- ways was a one to grab the wrong jar, feller say. They could have heard you squealing over in Cunt Lick County, just a squealing like a stoat with his stones cut off.' "'You're in the wrong hole, Doc. It was you took the mustard and me as had to wait till you cooled off. |
