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... And there was the occasion when President Ra threw the British Prime Minister to the ground and forcibly sodomized him, the spectacle being televised to the entire Arab World. Wild yipes of joy were heard in Stockholm. Interzone has an ordinance forbidding a meeting of Islam Inc. within five miles of the city limits. A. J.-- he is actually of obscure Near East extraction -- had at one time come on like an English gentleman. His English accent waned with the British Empire, and after World War II he became an American by Act of Congress. A. J. is an agent like me, but for whom or for what no one has ever been able to discover. It is ru- mored that he represents a trust of giant insects from another galaxy.... I believe he is on the Factualist side ( which I also represent ); of course he could be a Lique- factign Agent (the Liquefaction program involves the eventual merging of everyone into One Man by a proc- ess of protoplasmic absorption). You can never be sure of anyone in the industry. A. J.'s cover story? An international playboy and harmless practical joker. It was A. J. who put the pir- anha fish in Lady Sutton-Smith's swimming pool, and dosed the punch with a mixture of Yage, Hashish and Yohimbine during a Fourth of July reception at the U.S. Embassy, precipitating an orgy. Ten prominent citizens -- American, of course -- subsequently died of shame. Dy- ing of shame is an accomplishment peculiar to Kwakiutl Indians and Americans -- others simply say "Zat alors" or "Son cosas de la vida" or "Allah fucked me, the All Powerful...." And when the Cincinnati Anti-Fluoride Society met to toast their victory in pure spring water, all their teeth dropped out on the spot. "And I say unto you, brothers and sisters of the Anti- Fluoride movement, we have this day struck such a blow for purity as will never call a retreat.... Out, I say, with the filthy foreign fluorides! We will sweep this fair land sweet and clean as a young boy's tensed Hank. ...I will now lead you in our theme song The Old Oaken Bucket." A well head is lighted by fluorescent lights that play over it in hideous juke-box colors. The Anti-Fluorides file past the well singing as each dips up a drink from the oaken bucket.... "The old oaken bucket, the gold oaken bucket The glublthulunnubbeth..." A. J. had tampered with the water, inserting a South American vine that turns the gums to mush. |
